sometimes i live too much in the future, and not enough in the present
sometimes i daydream about leaving my life, driving as far south as a i can, and living anonymously on some deserted beach
sometimes i try to stop eating sugar, and then it surprise attacks me and i'm all back in
sometimes i sit back, look at my life, and wonder why i'm so incredibly blessed
sometimes i miss the days when i was young enough to justify a night light
sometimes nature is so beautiful it's physically painful for me
sometimes i talk to myself in public, and get weird looks from strangers
sometimes knowing everyone my town is claustrophobic, sometimes it's incredibly sweet
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
The knot is tied!
I've been terribly neglectful of, well, everything! More to come I promise! D and I don't have internet access at home so uploading pics etc is a little tedious! Thanks for hanging in there!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
One more day!
My last blog as a single woman! Tomorrow is filled to the brim, and then...D-Day! Time has taken on a completely surreal feeling. I walk through my days, not quite realizing how close marriage is, and what that all entails.
The truth is that all of this is so much bigger than D and I. It took lots of people, events, and a big push from God to get us to this place. Where did it all start? Ah...well let me share our story.
Rewind to March 2001. I was a college sophomore/junior (my college years are all screwed up as I finished in three) and headed to the mountains SW of Colorado Springs with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship for our Spring Retreat. It was a glorious weekend spent with friends, and with God in the most beautiful mountain setting I had ever seen. Bear Trap Ranch immediately captured me. The perfect combination of ranch and mountain retreat. One crisp morning, I spent a quiet time in a grove of aspen trees and after a long talk with God I knew that He wanted me to come back to this enchanting place. I remember meeting D for the first that weekend, thinking in passing that he was cute. We spent a morning doing dishes together after breakfast. And then it was back to campus and school and the many distractions there.
Once back at Laramie, I applied for a summer staff position at BTR. May 2001 saw me packing my bags and heading South once again. It was a summer which presented a lot of opportunities for growth and the creation of deep friendships. I worked as a wrangler, and from our spot above the camp we watched the activities in the trees below. And it was during this watching that I developed a bit of a crush, on D. I liked what I saw: quiet, respected, working hard with his hands, good natured. So I spent the rest of the summer avoiding him as much as possible. We left as friends and I went back to Laramie in the fall to finish my final year of college.
But our lives were more entwined than I realized. We began to see each other at friend's weddings, family events (he is good friends with my cousin), and IV happenings. All of this over a period of 6 years. I settled back in my hometown after graduating, worked at a few places until finding an amazing job working for American Home Mortgage. It was while working for AHM (an R.E.I.T that was based out of NY, we functioned as a satellite of their wholesale arm) that one of my friends/co-workers convinced me to give MySpace a spin. And through the crazy close network that is IV, D and I became friends... maybe exchanging a comment or email once a month.
Summer 2007 saw D and I catching up at my oldest brother's wedding. I was dating someone, and he was also in a relationship. We ran into each other a few times that summer, it was just a good feeling to catch up with such an old friend. Then in August the market began to turn. The housing sector fall-out, the domino effect we are still seeing today, saw the collapse of AHM. Losing my job also coincided with the failure of the relationship that I was in. Having nothing left to lose taught me some big lessons about where my self identity should be, based on the solid foundation of Christ. And gave me a strange sense of freedom. By the beginning of September, I was employed again, feeling a little older and little wiser.
That fall is a blur of adjusting to a new job, trying to maintain friendships, dating a few guys here and there. By December I was done, done with dating, ready to see what God had enstore for me next. December 4, as my Mom and I were decorating our Christmas tree, D came up in conversation. We were still conversing via MySpace and my Mom encouraged me to pursue our relationship a little harder. Still feeling a little reckless from my job loss, I sent D a message saying that I thought he was "interesting" and I thought it could be cool to "get to know each other a little better". We emailed back and forth until the end of December, when he invited me down to Fort Collins, CO where he was living. Our first non-date was super fun, filled with talking and beer sampling and Mexican food. By February it was official, we were dating with all of the complexities that long distance throws into the mix. In April we road-tripped for 5 days through Utah; camping, hiking, exploring. It was one night, as we watched sparks from the campfire swim across the sky that I began to think more about the future and began to want D to be part of it. We camped, kayaked, hiked and played all summer. Labor Day weekend we planned to climb a local mountain, and camp for a few days. A sunny hike on Sunday ended at the summit in a windy thunderstorm. In the middle of a game of Twister, completely unexpectedly, D asked me to marry him!
So now we look toward the future! A future that is a big question mark in my mind. But one of the things I love about D, is that we are totally fine with question marks. It's exciting for us to see the path that God has for us. So hopefully this blog will continue, but it will never be the same. In a strange way, after Saturday, it kind of feels like D and I will be completely different people. And we will be, the same, but different. But ready for adventure, ready to start something new, but definitely in it together.
Stay tuned....
The truth is that all of this is so much bigger than D and I. It took lots of people, events, and a big push from God to get us to this place. Where did it all start? Ah...well let me share our story.
Rewind to March 2001. I was a college sophomore/junior (my college years are all screwed up as I finished in three) and headed to the mountains SW of Colorado Springs with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship for our Spring Retreat. It was a glorious weekend spent with friends, and with God in the most beautiful mountain setting I had ever seen. Bear Trap Ranch immediately captured me. The perfect combination of ranch and mountain retreat. One crisp morning, I spent a quiet time in a grove of aspen trees and after a long talk with God I knew that He wanted me to come back to this enchanting place. I remember meeting D for the first that weekend, thinking in passing that he was cute. We spent a morning doing dishes together after breakfast. And then it was back to campus and school and the many distractions there.
Once back at Laramie, I applied for a summer staff position at BTR. May 2001 saw me packing my bags and heading South once again. It was a summer which presented a lot of opportunities for growth and the creation of deep friendships. I worked as a wrangler, and from our spot above the camp we watched the activities in the trees below. And it was during this watching that I developed a bit of a crush, on D. I liked what I saw: quiet, respected, working hard with his hands, good natured. So I spent the rest of the summer avoiding him as much as possible. We left as friends and I went back to Laramie in the fall to finish my final year of college.
But our lives were more entwined than I realized. We began to see each other at friend's weddings, family events (he is good friends with my cousin), and IV happenings. All of this over a period of 6 years. I settled back in my hometown after graduating, worked at a few places until finding an amazing job working for American Home Mortgage. It was while working for AHM (an R.E.I.T that was based out of NY, we functioned as a satellite of their wholesale arm) that one of my friends/co-workers convinced me to give MySpace a spin. And through the crazy close network that is IV, D and I became friends... maybe exchanging a comment or email once a month.
Summer 2007 saw D and I catching up at my oldest brother's wedding. I was dating someone, and he was also in a relationship. We ran into each other a few times that summer, it was just a good feeling to catch up with such an old friend. Then in August the market began to turn. The housing sector fall-out, the domino effect we are still seeing today, saw the collapse of AHM. Losing my job also coincided with the failure of the relationship that I was in. Having nothing left to lose taught me some big lessons about where my self identity should be, based on the solid foundation of Christ. And gave me a strange sense of freedom. By the beginning of September, I was employed again, feeling a little older and little wiser.
That fall is a blur of adjusting to a new job, trying to maintain friendships, dating a few guys here and there. By December I was done, done with dating, ready to see what God had enstore for me next. December 4, as my Mom and I were decorating our Christmas tree, D came up in conversation. We were still conversing via MySpace and my Mom encouraged me to pursue our relationship a little harder. Still feeling a little reckless from my job loss, I sent D a message saying that I thought he was "interesting" and I thought it could be cool to "get to know each other a little better". We emailed back and forth until the end of December, when he invited me down to Fort Collins, CO where he was living. Our first non-date was super fun, filled with talking and beer sampling and Mexican food. By February it was official, we were dating with all of the complexities that long distance throws into the mix. In April we road-tripped for 5 days through Utah; camping, hiking, exploring. It was one night, as we watched sparks from the campfire swim across the sky that I began to think more about the future and began to want D to be part of it. We camped, kayaked, hiked and played all summer. Labor Day weekend we planned to climb a local mountain, and camp for a few days. A sunny hike on Sunday ended at the summit in a windy thunderstorm. In the middle of a game of Twister, completely unexpectedly, D asked me to marry him!
So now we look toward the future! A future that is a big question mark in my mind. But one of the things I love about D, is that we are totally fine with question marks. It's exciting for us to see the path that God has for us. So hopefully this blog will continue, but it will never be the same. In a strange way, after Saturday, it kind of feels like D and I will be completely different people. And we will be, the same, but different. But ready for adventure, ready to start something new, but definitely in it together.
Stay tuned....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
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